A bit of background.....I was invited to a function by my friend and former neighbor, Angie....aprox 2 wks ago. She said," it is fundraiser at the Radisson, for dinner , 2 fridays from now, I'll let you know the time." Sweet, we can eat a colorful meal with prob 2 meats and a great dessert with a cherry on it. And we can catch up on life while watching whatever happens at the fundraiser. I don't hear from her again for 10 days... because that's how we roll.
Now, it's that particular Friday and I just fed thekiddos and havent heard from Angie, nor have I called . Although I would love to visit and hang out , I'm tired and would rather stay home in my jammies. As I'm settling into spending a quiet eve at home with the fam, she texts " it starts at 7... directions to follow" It is now 6:26.
I bonsaii around and throw on a little bohemian outfit with leggings and boots and jazz my hair up a little. Not planning on knowing a soul or even considering my dress again.
The tables inside are decorated black and white with chandeliers elegantly placed....stunning...and the program is something like "puttin on the glitz". Adorable, I'm a theme girl. They rocked it. I missed the memo...kind of like the old show Green Acres..but backwards. But, no biggie. We joined the silent auction lines of black and white and sparkly and shiny and updos and froofy and had fun trying to "win" a basket.
Oh, but then the auctioneer gets up with his 2 or 3 "auctioneer boy/ cheerleaders in cowboy hats " Looks fun. I hear the first few things going for $200, $400, $5000! whew , out of my budget tonight, but entertaining. Well, then some girls start "winning" things at my table.. My blood starts making waves in my heart. I am seriously loving the action , the nods, the timing , the pace.I think clearly, " I realize I cannot win one of these prizes, but I want to play."
The next item for bid is the Dinner with the Firemen for 6. Perfect....don't know how much it will go for, but doesn't matter to me.....I just want to play. I will only bid once. I tell the table , "I'm going to play, woo hoo" They all smile. The crazy fun auctioneer who has me in a tizzy screams, "Dinner with the firemen.......let's start at $1000." I'm front row and center, so he doesn't miss me, "YEAH RIGHT HERE!!!!!!" Oooh, it was invigorating, brave, daring and naughty....because my husband would've had a fit. So, I sit back just glad to have had a chance to join in on the action. I'm satisfied and can go home now. I'm beginning to note no one has bid higher than $1000 and as I scan the room no one appears to be considering it. The rockin auctioneer is doing his best to heyyyyy bidddddeeeeerrrrrr bidderrrr da da da dabuump bupmmpp whaddddddya say $1100? No one is biting and he starts looking at me. I literally lay my head in my friend's lap and start sweating from everywhere. I look up and he's still looking at me. I am in the midst of a sheer panic now, a fight or flight moment where all my blood has shunted to my vital organs. I don't have an available 1 grand to buy dinner with a hero. The only 1 grand I am even aware of is our Baby step 1 Emergency Fund in our new Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Plan. I seriously consider for a moment if this is indeed an emergency. I look at Angie and scream ,"Oh, my gosh, I have to take it back..Steve will kill me." Not sure, but I think she's giggling. Everything seems blurry but in the frenzy, I make eye contact with the auctioneer and weakly proclaim, "I have to take it back." Two blonds all sassed up are saying, "booo, booo, you can't take it back." I hear the voice of pardon as the auctioneer says, "Hey , she wants everyone to get a chance at it" as he starts the bidding again at $100...
My heart started palpitating again as I told my sister the story the next day. She, in the most pitiful voice, asked, "Was there an intermission so you could slink out of there? Weren't you so embarrassed?" I can honestly say, I did not feel shame or embarrassment ( I know you are thinking......"well, you should have"). I felt extreme gratefulness and awe in being pardoned so kindly without ridicule. I didn't follow the rules, I could've been held to the bid.
In the past couple years when I am late, or fail to do exactly what was asked, or do it differently than what was expected......and am NOT punished in some way with biting words or silence......I sit back and am nearly speechless. I expect to be figuratively spanked and receive the pounding I deserve.
This most recent ' bid event' has again punctuated that theme of grace swirling about.
What act have you committed worthy of punishment?
What is keeping you from receiving the grace and mercy God so freely gives. I know you don't deserve it, you never will. That is the beauty and the miracle of it all.
Grace is undeserved favor. ..mercy when we don't expect or deserve it. Can't be earned or bought. It is huge and it is tiny. It can cover the mountain ranges or a ladybug. I have the ability to acquire it from the Master, the Author of grace. I am expected to grow in grace as Phil 1: 6 states, "And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ returns."
I shall not sit graceless....... and though I usually can't be described as graceful, I want to be gracefilled.
The auctioneer was my judge and erased my impulsive bid . God is my Judge . He has erased my sin nature when I trusted in him. His divine power has given me everything I need for life and godliness.( 2Peter 1:3)
My unfinished business is to find the auctioneer and promise him my next child, or at least dress up like a fireman and take him to dinner.
