"I'm not impressed"

Woke up slowly this am and sipped a java while curled up on the couch with Julia..... and Sponge Bob screaming about his latest underwater chaos. . Needed a red cozy blanky wrapped around me because the leather is cold. The rest of the kids were busy somewhere.... hiding , I think so I wouldn't start with my usual, "ok....what do we need to get done today? " rant.

My Julia knows my 5 minute tolerance for sponge bob and the gang and finds Joyce Meyer on the DVR and asks if I want to watch one..... I do and she silently slips off to join the "hiding children." Joyce was talking about depression and her experience with it. I can't believe how my body responds when I hear about this topic. Today, my heart gets a little tight, I look around to check if anyone sees that I am interested in it, (Rascal our Schnauzer....is busy in the corner licking his toochy from infected anal glands, no worries there.) I flush a bit ( don't know if it's from invading Rascal's privacy or the depression issue) then grab the remote to turn it up. She covers it being a medical issue, emotional issue, spiritual blah blah blah......and responds to a viewers question of "Is depression a sin?" She says, "no , but it can turn into that." I turn it up higher.

Joyce talks about her reaction to minor and major occasions during her life when she wants to have a little fit.......when something happens that irritates, bothers or makes her a bit fussy. She responds with , "I'm not impressed. If I'm not impressed, I can't get oppressed and then I can't get depressed." Thought it was a little Jesse Jacksonish...but a great point. I'm also not alluding to the deep dark, cavernous , spiral into hell bouts of depression....just talking about those irritating moments. Visuals come of when I break the mayo jar on the tile floor, I drive all the way out to Catoosa to give flu shots and have no needles, or my kid throws a fit in front of my "friend" who is constantly judging my parenting.... Can I just say, "I am not impressed with this bit of irritation," and move on? I visit with myself about it and agree that I am pretty good at this skill already.

During the crazy beautiful lightening and thunder this am, my neighbor and I make a run to Sam's. We grab a couple last minute gifts on the way to the pork loins. My dtr, Lexi chats with my husband on my cell, we all laugh and I touch a lot of the robes as I walk by.....cant help it. Anyway....somewhere between the fudge samples and the Britney perfume.....we realize my phone is gone. We retrace our steps, dig through sweater piles, raincoats for kids, pork loins and my purse over and over. It has vanished.

We load the car and I am bummed. On the drive home, my neighbor agrees it was sheer magic....here then disappeared. I run through the rain to my front door and feel the weight of having to tell my husband I have lost my phone again....second time in 2 months.( although does it count if I ended up finding it the first time?) I go right to the couch and start hearing myself tell my other self, "you are such a loser....wow....worse than all of your kids put together on the losing stuff......if you could just hang on to something once in awhile...what good are you in anything if you cant keep a silly phone? if you would just pay attention to what you are doing.....on and on...

.suddenly from the turned off tv, I hear Joyce saying...."hellooooo..... I am not impressed.'" I think......"hmmmm, neither am I ." The loser voices stop... I am a daughter of the King who is fully loved, complete in Him and made with God's fingerprints all over me, I am impressed with Him, not with this. I giggle as I realized I had missed it for 2 hours!

1 1/2 hours later, Lexi yells, "Mom, Sam's called, they found your phone!"

I am learning over and over to guard my heart and my thoughts , for from it springs everything!!!

and from the heart, the mouth speaks.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” -unknown

Proverbs 3:11

My child, don't ignore it when the Lord disciplines you and don't be discouraged when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.

Thanks for loving me!!!!